My cousin and I played Timesplitters all the time, and for some reason, these were the three guys we always picked to play against. Skill-wise, no character is better or worse than another, but killing these guys just always seemed right.
9) Goomba's Shoe (Super Mario Bros. 3 - NES)
Sadly, the only appearance of Goomba’s Shoe was in Level 5-3 of Sky Land in Super Mario Bros. 3. After you successfully killed the Goomba inside, you were then free to inhabit the shoe (which looks more like a boot to me) and walk harm-free over Spinies and Piranha Plants. Best part of the game.
8) Los Ganados/Los Illuminados (Resident Evil 4 - GC)
Resident Evil enemies are always a blast to kill, but the townspeople and monks in RE4 are some of my all-time favorites because not only are they suitably scary, but they are also an effective means of learning delightful Spanish phrases and curse words.
7) Tonberry (Final Fantasy Series)
There are various incarnations of Tonberry in the Final Fantasy series, but they all essentially have the same deal. They have massive amounts of HP, and they walk slowly toward you as you use your most powerful attacks in an attempt to kill them. If the Tonberry reaches you before you can take it down, it will fatally stab you once with its tiny chef’s knife. The best part about this is that the short stab is accompanied by a “Doink” sound effect. Hilarious. Side note: I actually own a plush Tonberry.
6) Eggplant Wizard (Kid Icarus - NES)
You’re trying to navigate through the Labyrinth, when you unwittingly enter a roomful of Eggplant Wizards. Before you can turn around to hightail it out of there, BAM! You’re an eggplant. Now you have to try to find a room with a nurse. Giant pain in the ass, but pretty damn funny.
5) Big Boo/Petey Pirahna (Mario Kart: Double Dash - GC)
Oooh…I hate these fuckers so much. First off, they’re always knocking my little Bowser Jr. all over the place with their heavy-ass cars. Second, I can’t even begin to count the number of times that fat flower head has blocked my screen while I’m trying to race. Still, it wouldn’t be Mario Kart without them - they give me someone to blame when I don’t come in first.
4) Ice Cream Truck/Boogeyman (Toe Jam and Earl - GEN)
I can't think of a game with more ridiculous enemies than Toe Jam and Earl. However, there are two that stand out to me, mainly because they make an otherwise easy game quite difficult. The first is the Ice Cream Truck, which only shows up near the end of the game. You hear it’s loud honk, and POOF! It appears out of thin air to mow you down. Then it’ll disappear into a cloud of smoke, only to reappear two seconds later to finish you off. Brutal. Similarly, the Boogeyman is invisible until he is right on top of you. The worse thing about Boogeymen is that they sometimes travel in packs, and their combined efforts of “scaring” you usually result in death or falling onto the board below (which is sometimes just as bad). I couldn't find a pic of these guys, so here's a random screenshot of the game for you to enjoy.
3)Bowser Jr. (Mario games)
Bowser Jr. is on the list because he is just so darn cute. He’s also my preferred racer in Mario Kart. His taunting laugh makes me smile, even when he’s trying to kill me.
2) Scissorman (Clock Tower - PS1)
Scissorman might be the scariest villain I have ever encountered in a video game. You hear his music before you even see him coming – that’s when you know you’re screwed. The thing about Scissorman is that you can’t fight him, you can only hide. He hides as well, and despite knowing all his favorite spots, I still jump a mile out of my chair when he pops out of a closet. Even though you eventually find out that Scissorman is **SPOILER ALERT** the gayest nine year old boy you will ever see in your life, it doesn’t take away from the heart-stopping thrill of being chased by him in subsequent playings.
1) Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII - PS1)
When I first heard about this list, I knew that Sephiroth was going to be my number one. He embodies everything that a villain should be. He has a bad ass weapon (the Masamune sword), awesome powers (see his “Super Nova” summon in the video below), and the best theme music ever (“One-Winged Angel”, heard in the video below). Did I mention that he is the main bad guy in one of the most beloved RPGs of all time? Combine all this, and you have an epic final battle that is second to none.
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