This list will more than likely upset several readers (aka the other posters on this site and maybe Emily and Karyn.) But that is the whole point of making these lists. They are supposed to polarize people. Either you fully agree with a list and nod in agreement with each new rank, feeling as if you share a wavelength with the poster. Or with each successive number, you get more and more frustrated, believing the poster to have a inferior functioning brain. You will probably feel I fall in the latter, which is about time with one of these postings...
10. Gladiator
This movie is guilty of being overrated because of the ridiculous hype, word of mouth, and bling it received at award shows. It's a very solid movie, very well acted, beautifully shot, and the story, well there is a story. If anyone feels that the plot of Gladiator is one of its strengths, they obviously have never taken a elementary school history class then. History is full of memorable people who have lived just as interesting lives as the Maximus depicted in this movie, but somehow his character becomes immortalized with this movie that falls short of its competitor, Braveheart.
Every movie needs a little more Chris Tucker.
9. The Silence of the Lambs
Like Gladiator, this isn't a bad movie by any means, just one that is guilty of being overrated because of its huge buildup. It's got your rather typical suicide killer storyline (that is only slightly more interesting than you would see on a weekly CSI or Law and Order), that launched into the outer realms of film hype because of Anthony Hopkins over-portrayal of a character with an unforgettable name (because Hannibal you see rhymes with Cannibal.) If anyone has seen Manhunter, the rarely mentioned precursor to this movie, they would find Brian Cox portraying the character in a better fashion in a better movie.
Look Anthony Hopkins can overact!
8. Into the Wild
This movie is guilty of having way too much Sean Penn involved. I thought America learned its lesson when they started to avoid Sean Penn in the films I Am Sam and All the King's Men. But I guess a few tricks including hiding behind a camera can change all of that. This movie irks me to the core. How does a movie about one of the greatest idiots of all time result in such a well reviewed film? Not only that but the real life protagonist is hailed as a hero and glorified when in reality this should be shown to little kids warning them how stupid of lows men can sink to.
Sean Penn's greatest film achievement.
7. Titanic
This movie is guilty of being an overlong, overwrought, overhyped shipwreck of a movie. While it isn't as bad as its namesake or filmsake, it is a rather unnecessary movie that somehow sparked the interests of everyone to run out to the movie theaters and see it no fewer than 5 times. Why that is the case, I have no idea. A movie with a predictable outcome and merely okay romance story captured the minds and hearts of everyone in America during 1996, simply because it mixed all the key genres. I could just see James Cameron pitching this film...It's a romance movie, a disaster movie, an adventure movie, a historical drama, how could we not hit every demographic. Well they did, but I'd like to think America has wised up since then. Please let this never happen again.
At least this movie resulted in a great song and music video!
6. Any of the Harry Potter movies
These movies are guilty of earning way too much money and way too many sequels, when other much better films cannot earn nearly as much money or any sequels. Each and every Harry Potter movie has made more than all of Guillermo del Toro's movies combined. Is that fair?
5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
This movie is guilty of tricking people into believing that Jim Carrey can act. Which is false, he sucks, and hasn't been good since Ace Ventura. Maybe I'm alone in this belief, but I just do not understand why so many people think this is such a great film. Somehow this movie winds up on the Top 150 list of IMDB's greatest movies of all time. I find it just a completely average romance movie with a cute little twist that would succeed in a thirty minute Twilight Zone episode, but is way to drawn out in a full length feature.
This movie even has Zooey Deschanel and I won't see it.
4. The Matrix
This movie is guilty of bringing the Wachowski brothers to the forefront. Maybe it is unfair to let the biases of several other duds factor into my decision, but I don't care. This movie resulted in two other Matrix movies, which makes it guilty enough to appear on this list. Plus the movie itself is really not as great as the absurd amount of hype would lead you to believe. It's got a somewhat interesting premise that is derived from a Philosophy 101 lecture, that never is above average due largely to the presence of Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves can only be viewed for prolonged periods of time in movies that can be unintentionally funny, which this movie is not.
This guy plays Keanu Reeves better than Keanu Reeves.
3. Children of Men
This movie is guilty of causing people to confuse dreary with good. Too many people have watched this movie feeling sad afterward (because it is bleak and dreary as hell) and come out thinking it was good for that very reason. I just do not understand why so many people enjoy this butchering of a great novel onto the screen. It has mangled an interesting futuristic science fiction plot, that compares with some of the greats, including one of my favorites 1984, into a boring and dull movie. I can appreciate a dystopian movie as much as the next guy, but this movie brings nothing special to the table. Most upsetting is the complete lack of character development and lack of interest in any character. Was anybody truly rooting for any of the characters in this movie? Because I certainly could not care less about any of them.
2. Spirited Away
This movie is guilty of sucking...majorly. I could not even bring myself to stay awake through this movie...twice. Yet, somehow I once had someone try and convince me that it was the greatest film of all time. What? Really? There is absolutely nothing special about this movie. Stay away. Far away.
1. Star Wars
This movie is guilty of causing the largest mass hysteria ever for a movie that is merely good. I watched the first (in release not in order) of the series and felt vastly underwhelmed and in no way compelled to continue following the force. Maybe the movie hasn't aged well and watching it thirty years after its release has tainted my view. But either way this movie is number one on my list, and deservedly so. Let the heckling begin.
The best part about Star Wars is this scene.
P.S. I stole Dan's list formatting because I liked it.
Monday, November 10, 2008
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4 comments:
Into the Wild came so close to being on my list, but I decided on Minority Report at the last minute.
"Star Wars" isn't a movie. Also, Gladiator rocks the house.
Yes, it is. Or at least it was released under that name and is listed under than name on IMDB.
I agree with your choices of Into The Wild, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and all the Harry Potter movies. And I was totally going to use that Clerks II clip to show why the first Lord of the Rings is such a boring piece of crap.
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