10) "We are constantly making improvements on our dining options" There is very little that can be done with slop.
9) "Do you want to study together tonight?" Do you want to examine my throat tonight?
8) "Just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels" This person has either seen 'Wedding Crashers' too often, or is going to take advantage of your openness.
7) "That isn't laced with roofies" I've fallen for it. You've fallen for it. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
6) "You should get a laptop for class" NO. Undergraduates only need a laptop if they plan on spending an hour distracting their surrounding classmates with Facebook and online Scrabble.
5) "I absolutely do not grade on a curve" If the class does poorly enough, the professor will grade on a curve. Just aim low!
4) "I'd love to watch Legally Blonde 2" Meaning: I'd love to touch your boobs.
3) "You will need to buy the textbook for this course" You will never need to buy the textbook for this course.
2) "Yeah...that test was hard" The longer the pause, the more likely this is to be a lie. The person telling you this is just trying to spare your feelings, dummy.
1) "That test was so easy" The person shouting this lie, and he/she will be shouting it, is trying to cement him/herself into the role of classroom douche. Chances are everyone else in the class will be leaving with glum faces, but will ultimately do better on the test and in life.
Monday, August 18, 2008
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3 comments:
Not bad. That being said, obviously "A Knight's Tale" is the make-out movie most people should be choosing.
Too soon?
Regarding the dining options lie, they actually did make improvements. Have you eaten at the new place beneath Towers? it's pretty good.
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