Dan's 5 Favorite/Least Favorite Vacation Spots

Similar to Brett, I have not traveled to very many places. So, I have peppered my list with a number of fictional hot (and not) spots.

Worst

5. Rekall
Rekall gives you the vacation of a lifetime by implanting false memories into your mind. This is fine in theory, unless you have already erased the memories of being an underling to an evil Martian slumlord. Then you might run into troubs.
Travel Tip: Buy a sturdy space suit.


4. Cemetery
My parents became obsessed with genealogy one summer; for some reason this meant we had to go to various cemeteries and find the long-lost gravestones of distant relatives.
Travel Tip: Avoid these guys:


3. Hoth
Hoth is one of the most inhospitable planets in the Star Wars universe. Leaving your base is likely to result in a Wampa attack or freezing to death.
Travel Tip: The only way to survive Hoth's cold nights are in the belly of a Tauntaun.

2. Mordor
Mordor could possibly be the most evil place in any fictional realm. This pockmarked land is filled with horrifying creatures, violent volcanoes, and an all-seeing eye.
Travel Tip: Find a handy guide at www.gollumtours.com



1. Parmistan
Parmistan was the insane country featured in the movie Gymkata. Parmistan forces foreign visitors to participate in the Game, a grueling endurance race in which Parmistan soldiers chase them. The Game culminates in a town where insane people roam around and stab each other with pitchforks. Visitors are granted one wish if they survive. I’d say it’s worth it.
Travel Tip: Steer clear of Parmistan.

Luckily, crazy town has a pommel horse in its town square!



Best

5. Seahaven
Visit the set of the most famous reality show in history. The idyllic town made famous in The Truman Show sits inside a gigantic dome in California. You can choose the current time and weather, and purchase the town’s many sponsored consumer products. Why, you may even find yourself on television!
Travel Tip: Christof is still mad about the whole Truman leaving thing, so don’t mention it to him.

4. Gotham City
Many people would probably put this on their worst vacation spot list, not me. Sure, you might be killed, but you also have a good chance of becoming a superhero or villain during your stay. Gotham probably has the highest hero/villain per person ratio of any comic book city: Batman, Nightwing, Batgirl, Azrael, Huntress, the Question, Batwoman, about six Robins, and those are just the good guys.
Travel Tip: Buy your cape and cowl before traveling to Gotham City


3. Toontown
I’m a big fan of cartoons, especially the old Merry Melodies and Silly Symphonies. Traveling to Toontown would certainly be an interesting experience. However, it is probably best to keep the visit short since I’m not sure how long anyone could put up with all the zaniness, not to mention the falling safes, for an extended period of time.
Travel Tip: Don’t touch the Goofy.

2. Space
Space is pretty fucking sweet.
Travel Tip: In space, no one can hear you scream, so make sure people know where you are at all times.


In case you didn't know what it looked like

1. 25 miles from the Century III Mall
Karyn and I once took a trip to Fallingwater and stayed at a place that ended up being only 25 miles from the beloved Century III Mall. It was quite the getaway.
Travel Tip: Avoid Hoss’ Steakhouse.