In doing research to compile this list, I ran into the following qualification of a Guilty Pleasure Movie, which I felt was perfect enough to quote. I kept this in mind in making my list.
The test of a guilty pleasure movie is
1) If it comes on cable do you sit down and watch the entire film even though you’ve already seen it 20 times?
2) Do you watch it even though you also own it on DVD or video?)
3) And finally, would you ever admit to anyone that this film is one of your favorite movies?
If the answers are, respectively, yes, yes and no, well then you’ve found your guilty pleasure flick.
-MSNBC, June 2006
So, in essence, it came down to whether or not I would keep it on my DVD shelf, or if I did keep it on my shelf I would attribute it's possession to my brother or an ex. I realize this standard cannot be applied to everyone, as some people stress quantity over quality in their DVD shelves. (But I won't name names.)
Without further ado...
10. Can't Hardly Wait
I just think this is a good movie. I think I've seen it at least a dozen times, making it the second most viewed movie on this list. Sure it's cheesy, but has it not epitomized everything we've come to know about high school and college life. And I feel like those same teachings are true of law school as well.
9. Super Mario Bros.
This movie is an absolute blast, and it starts with the casting. I must say, the choices are all inspired, but I could not imagine anyone else playing Mario other than Bob Hoskins and Dennis Hopper as Bowser is delightful, plus Peter O'Toole makes a cameo as the the Mushroom King. I feel like the special effects even stand up when compared to today's releases, particularly the Mushroom Kingdom characters including the Goombas, Yoshi, and cityscape. Adding to all this is one of the funniest scenes in cinema- John Leguizamo as Luigi dancing with the Goombas- as well as one of the most action-packed scenes -Mario and Luigi's elongated slides through one of the tubes/chutes/whatever it may be. Oh, and brownie points for clarifying Mario's last name...it is Mario for those keeping track at home.
8. Baseketball
I really enjoyed this movie, from the talents of Airplane, Top Gun, and South Park. One of the first sport's spoofs that featured a great array of cameo talent including Ernest Borgnine, Bob Costas, Al Michaels, Pat O'Brien, Robert Stack, and Eric Camson-err I mean Cartman. Just listing it here makes me want to go watch this again.
7. Last Action Hero
This movie dealt with deep, interesting postmodern thoughts, before scholars, intellectuals, and pompous college students even fully knew what the term meant. Plus it was a formative movie throughout my youth, and is the reason for my idolization of Arnold. Oh, and it envisions what a terrible world it would be with Sylvester Stallone in the lead role in T2, oh what a horrible world that would be.
6. Wrong Turn
I'm a closeted horror movie fan, and this movie sums up why perfectly. On it's face it seems to be a terribly cheesy romp of a movie, but upon viewing it drums up an inner fear that I enjoy from the movies. Plus, it has Eliza Dushku in it, which is a near deal sealer inclusion on this list.
5. 100 Girls
I think the reason for this qualifying in the 'guilty pleasure' catagory is mainly for its title and DVD display. Yes, it sounds like a porno and yes it does have a plethora of chicks on the cover, but damn if it isn't an entertaining flick. With a who's who of borderline famous actress throughout (Katherine Heigl, that chick from Entourage, and that chick from The Secret World of Alex Mack) it offers a nice dialogue-driven alternative to the slew of crappy college movies that try and one up each other with gag scenes.
4. Ginger Snaps
This is certainly my favorite movie on this list, but one that so few people would ever give a shot to or care to give a shot to. The plot...two Canadian high school sisters deal with the troubles associated with high school, puberty, and one becoming a werewolf...makes the movie sound ridiculous. But it blends the high school genre, black comedy genre, and horror genre better than any movie by far. In reality, the movie is a blend of Juno and Teen Wolf, if you can imagine that. Plus, one of the leads makes an appearance as the clerk at the Women Now clinic in Juno who says "It makes my boyfriend's junk smell like boysenberry."
3. Halloween 1-7
Ever since my 13th birthday, I've been a huge Michael Myers fan. Yes the movie's get more and more ridiculous and more and more guilty pleasure as the number following the title gets higher, but I can honestly call myself a fan of each and every one. Yes, even number 7, which stars Paul Rudd in his first film role.
2. The Hot Chick
Yes, the movie starring Rob Schneider. Yes, he is a terrible actor. But yes this is a great movie. What few people believe are that the hilarious Anna Farris and stunning Rachel McAdams can right a movie starring Rob Schneider. But its the case in this movie, which I continue to find myself hysterically laughing at upon each viewing. Plus it has a couple Butch Walker songs, which certainly don't hurt its cause.
1. Bring It On
This was a no brainer. I was fortunate enough to see this movie five times in theaters, and have seen it a countless number of times since on DVD and cable. I even hate Kirsten Dunst, but somehow this movie transcends her pouty girl role that she plays in every movie. The most surprising thing to me about this movie was that Jesse Bradford, who almost steals this movie from Eliza Dushku, hasn't been a more prominent force in films since this movie. I love his character in the movie, and feel the epic battle between the Toros and Clovers is the greatest battle witnessed in film.
I loved putting this list together. Much credit goes to the category selection, which made for a highlight week in the Top 10 x 4 blog.
Read more!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Josh's Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies
This was a very fun list to make. I relied on the movies' ratings on www.rottentomatoes.com to determine if the movie was "bad." I did not include anything higher than 50%, even though there were some movies I thought got a little too much love on the old tomatometer. These are ranked based on the level of love I have for the movies, and not necessarily the level of guilt. The number in parentheses is the rating on the tomatometer. Also, I tried to provide clips where I could, but due to the unnecessary hating on some of these movies, I couldn't find a clip for everything.
10. Volcano (42%)
Why do most people not like it? A volcano erupts in downtown Los Angeles. Most moviemakers/critics are from the LA area. Nobody likes the idea of their hood being destroyed, ergo most critics don't like Volcano.
Why do I like it? We learn that lava is one of the most badass villains ever. It's only weakness? Concrete and Tommy Lee Jones. Also, more on lava later.
9. Meteor Man (31%)
Why do most people not like it? They are racist and don't like the idea of Robert Townsend playing a Superman-like character that can also learn everything a book says instantly, but only retain that knowledge for a brief time.
Why do I like it? The 90s had a severe lack of Superman movies. When I was younger this was a great replacement. As I aged, I came to appreciate the magnitude of Meteor Man's power. Talking to dogs, green thumb and learning things from books = god-like.
8. Zorro: The Gay Blade (46%)
Why do most people not like it? Anti-gay, obviously.
Why do I like it? This classic comedic revamp of the Zorro character shows that movies can be made about old characters, and made funny. We don't have to resort to movies re-enacting scenes from other movies with people falling down at the end, in order to have decent comedy. We are better than that, and Zorro:The Gay Blade proves it.
7. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (39%)
Why do most people not like it? I'm assuming there are two reasons. First, they didn't like seeing Zordon get so disrespected. Second, they didn't like the new zords.
Why do I like it? This movie finally explores the link between Zordon and the power of the rangers. It forces the heroes to push themselves farther than they have before if they want to save Earth. It's realism and grittiness are a great pre-cursor to films like "The Dark Knight."
6. Bad Boys 2 (24%)
Why do most people not like it? People probably got a little tired of the genre. After several runs of "Beverly Hills Cop" and the first "Bad Boys," the action/comedy had already had its day at the box office when "Bad Boys 2" came out. That, and they foresaw that Martin Lawrence would completely let his acting career go, and they wanted to punish him prematurely.
Why do I like it? I did not have my fill of the action/comedy. I also love buddy comedies. I don't have much to say besides that. The clip is a "best of" compilation that speaks volumes.
5. A Lot Like Love (41%)
Why do most people not like it? It was admittedly a formulaic, frothy little rom-com. Also, the orange sweater-jacket Amanda Peet wears is atrocious, so I'm assuming that aroused the ire of many. Finally, Amanda Peet is much more attractive than Ashton Kutcher, so that took away from the realism.
Why do I like it? Well, first of all I love romantic comedies. That's out there. Deal with it. I also love Amanda Peet. And who hasn't learned how to play the guitar in order to impress someone, shown up at their door, sang them a song, and then found out that they were engaged?
4. Battlefield Earth (3%)
Why do most people not like it? I think a lot of critics and people generally have a hard time accepting the idea that humans are not the dominant species in the galaxy. Their superiority complex prevents them from enjoying any movie where mankind at one point gets its ass kicked.
Why do I like it? This movie teaches two valuable lesson. One: Forest Whitaker kicks ass as an alien. Two: You should always have leverage over people. Also, I think of this movie every time that song "Cyclone" comes on. Finally, I like the idea that I could learn how to fly a fighter jet just from playing video games. And be awesome at it.
3. Hook (22%)
Why do most people not like it? I honestly have no idea.
Why do I like it? This movie has an all star cast, and they all play their roles well. Dustin Hoffman makes a great Captain James Hook. Also, Gwyneth Paltrow has a brief cameo as the young Wendy. I love Maggie Smith as well. Further, it is an interesting interpretation of the Peter Pan character. We learn that family and friends are important, and that you shouldn't become a corporate douche bag. The movie reminds us that there is a child in all of us. It teaches us that suppressing that child will only result in being miserable. That being said, if you embrace the child in you, you can fight and fly and crow.
2. The Postman (10%)
Why do most people not like it? The only reason I can think of is that they were burned out on Kevin-Costner-starring-post-apocalyptic-movies after Waterworld. Also, it confirmed that postal workers will kill the shit out of you.
Why do I like it? I love Kevin Costner. Also, I love this genre, exploring a post war destroyed America. And I love epic movies, which this definitely is. Finally, I hate the Confederacy. It broke my heart that I couldn't find a good clip from this film online.
1. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (11%)
Why do most people not like it? 1. Nuclear Man isn't a very good character. 2. It was bathing in the light of Superman III's shittiness. 3. That kid who plays Lex Luthor's nephew is annoying. 4. People don't like Superman ending the cold war, it was a huge economy-driver. 5. It's easy to hate on the Man of Steel. He is such an epic character that anything not living up to the expectations is going to be shit on by critics.
Why do I like it? Devotees know that I am a sucker for Superman. I am also a sucker for powers on powers battles. I also enjoyed that in this movie we learn of lava's other weakness: Kal-El. Also, this movie taught me something about languages. In eighth grade we had a class where we spent 1/3 of the year on a different language. At one point the teacher said that people's names are the same no matter the language. I wisely informed him that in Superman IV, when Superman goes to different parts of the world people call "Superman" according to subtitles, but they are speaking in their native tongue. Thus disproving his assertion. Finally, this is the last Superman movie Christopher Reeves did, which is heartbreaking. I like Brandon Routh, but it will take a long time for anyone to throw on that "S" and not be compared to Chris.
Runners Up:
My Fellow Americans (50%)
Dragonheart (50%)
Teen Wolf (44%)
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (77%)
Read more!
10. Volcano (42%)
Why do most people not like it? A volcano erupts in downtown Los Angeles. Most moviemakers/critics are from the LA area. Nobody likes the idea of their hood being destroyed, ergo most critics don't like Volcano.
Why do I like it? We learn that lava is one of the most badass villains ever. It's only weakness? Concrete and Tommy Lee Jones. Also, more on lava later.
9. Meteor Man (31%)
Why do most people not like it? They are racist and don't like the idea of Robert Townsend playing a Superman-like character that can also learn everything a book says instantly, but only retain that knowledge for a brief time.
Why do I like it? The 90s had a severe lack of Superman movies. When I was younger this was a great replacement. As I aged, I came to appreciate the magnitude of Meteor Man's power. Talking to dogs, green thumb and learning things from books = god-like.
8. Zorro: The Gay Blade (46%)
Why do most people not like it? Anti-gay, obviously.
Why do I like it? This classic comedic revamp of the Zorro character shows that movies can be made about old characters, and made funny. We don't have to resort to movies re-enacting scenes from other movies with people falling down at the end, in order to have decent comedy. We are better than that, and Zorro:The Gay Blade proves it.
7. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (39%)
Why do most people not like it? I'm assuming there are two reasons. First, they didn't like seeing Zordon get so disrespected. Second, they didn't like the new zords.
Why do I like it? This movie finally explores the link between Zordon and the power of the rangers. It forces the heroes to push themselves farther than they have before if they want to save Earth. It's realism and grittiness are a great pre-cursor to films like "The Dark Knight."
6. Bad Boys 2 (24%)
Why do most people not like it? People probably got a little tired of the genre. After several runs of "Beverly Hills Cop" and the first "Bad Boys," the action/comedy had already had its day at the box office when "Bad Boys 2" came out. That, and they foresaw that Martin Lawrence would completely let his acting career go, and they wanted to punish him prematurely.
Why do I like it? I did not have my fill of the action/comedy. I also love buddy comedies. I don't have much to say besides that. The clip is a "best of" compilation that speaks volumes.
5. A Lot Like Love (41%)
Why do most people not like it? It was admittedly a formulaic, frothy little rom-com. Also, the orange sweater-jacket Amanda Peet wears is atrocious, so I'm assuming that aroused the ire of many. Finally, Amanda Peet is much more attractive than Ashton Kutcher, so that took away from the realism.
Why do I like it? Well, first of all I love romantic comedies. That's out there. Deal with it. I also love Amanda Peet. And who hasn't learned how to play the guitar in order to impress someone, shown up at their door, sang them a song, and then found out that they were engaged?
4. Battlefield Earth (3%)
Why do most people not like it? I think a lot of critics and people generally have a hard time accepting the idea that humans are not the dominant species in the galaxy. Their superiority complex prevents them from enjoying any movie where mankind at one point gets its ass kicked.
Why do I like it? This movie teaches two valuable lesson. One: Forest Whitaker kicks ass as an alien. Two: You should always have leverage over people. Also, I think of this movie every time that song "Cyclone" comes on. Finally, I like the idea that I could learn how to fly a fighter jet just from playing video games. And be awesome at it.
3. Hook (22%)
Why do most people not like it? I honestly have no idea.
Why do I like it? This movie has an all star cast, and they all play their roles well. Dustin Hoffman makes a great Captain James Hook. Also, Gwyneth Paltrow has a brief cameo as the young Wendy. I love Maggie Smith as well. Further, it is an interesting interpretation of the Peter Pan character. We learn that family and friends are important, and that you shouldn't become a corporate douche bag. The movie reminds us that there is a child in all of us. It teaches us that suppressing that child will only result in being miserable. That being said, if you embrace the child in you, you can fight and fly and crow.
2. The Postman (10%)
Why do most people not like it? The only reason I can think of is that they were burned out on Kevin-Costner-starring-post-apocalyptic-movies after Waterworld. Also, it confirmed that postal workers will kill the shit out of you.
Why do I like it? I love Kevin Costner. Also, I love this genre, exploring a post war destroyed America. And I love epic movies, which this definitely is. Finally, I hate the Confederacy. It broke my heart that I couldn't find a good clip from this film online.
1. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (11%)
Why do most people not like it? 1. Nuclear Man isn't a very good character. 2. It was bathing in the light of Superman III's shittiness. 3. That kid who plays Lex Luthor's nephew is annoying. 4. People don't like Superman ending the cold war, it was a huge economy-driver. 5. It's easy to hate on the Man of Steel. He is such an epic character that anything not living up to the expectations is going to be shit on by critics.
Why do I like it? Devotees know that I am a sucker for Superman. I am also a sucker for powers on powers battles. I also enjoyed that in this movie we learn of lava's other weakness: Kal-El. Also, this movie taught me something about languages. In eighth grade we had a class where we spent 1/3 of the year on a different language. At one point the teacher said that people's names are the same no matter the language. I wisely informed him that in Superman IV, when Superman goes to different parts of the world people call "Superman" according to subtitles, but they are speaking in their native tongue. Thus disproving his assertion. Finally, this is the last Superman movie Christopher Reeves did, which is heartbreaking. I like Brandon Routh, but it will take a long time for anyone to throw on that "S" and not be compared to Chris.
Runners Up:
My Fellow Americans (50%)
Dragonheart (50%)
Teen Wolf (44%)
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (77%)
Read more!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies, According to Caitlin
10. My Girl 2 (1994)
Dets: Sequels are often good candidates for guilty pleasures. As it turns out, the original My Girl is also a guilty pleasure, but I like the sequel a bit more. In the preferred installment, Vada Sultenfuss heads to L.A. in search of information about her dead mother, which her doting but still-grieving father (none other than Dan Akroyd) is unable to provide. The narrative of her adventures is augmented by a fabulous classic rock soundtrack, but that's just one of the pleasures of this film - don't overlook the jejune flirtations, gratuitous name-checking, cliche Hollywood/hippie scenes, and lack of verisimilitude.
9. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991)
Dets: Many hours of my childhood were spent watching this moving and fantasizing about what I would do if left unattended with plenty of cash for an entire summer. This movie doesn't boast quality cinematography but it's quite imaginative and undeniably fun (and sometimes disturbing, as in a creepy David Duchovny hitting on high-school Christina Applegate) to watch.
8. Dirty Dancing (1987)
Dets: One of those ubiquitous coming-of-age films, Baby is a sheltered teenager who learns a few life lessons along with some new dance steps while on vacation with her family in the Catskills. I never thought I would like this movie and so hate to think of how many times I have sat through the most repetitive and asinine television commercials just to see Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze dancing and romancing to such eighties classics as "Hungry Eyes" and "I've Had the Time of My Life."
7. Cool Runnings (1993)
Dets: "Sanka, you dead, mon?" "Ya, mon." This movie is based (loosely) on the saga of the Jamaican Bobsled Team's try for gold at the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary. John Candy and Doug E. Doug play on stereotypes and add hilarity to the absurdity of this endeavor. That sentence explains why the movie is both guilty and a pleasure for me.
6. Little Women (1994)
Dets: This adaptation of the novel by Louisa May Alcott features an all-star cast (Susan Sarandon, Wynona Ryder, Christian Bale, Kirsten Dunst, Claire Danes, Gabriel Byrne) trying to affect convincing nineteenth-century American accents while highlighting the intense pathos and simple joys of New England during the Civil War. It's a maudlin and over-simplified adaptation of a wonderful book, but I'm a sucker for sweet romances and period costumes and thus can never resist the temptation to pop in my VHS copy and smile through my tears as I watch Jo and Teddy lust for and lose each other, Papa return from war, and Amy finally live the life she dreamed of.
5. Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)
Dets: Another period film adapted from a literary work. This time, it's Renaissance France, with Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Houston, and Dougray Scott in wonderful costumes. But it's a fairy tale, so it's a guilty pleasure.
4. My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)
Dets: First of all, this film boasts an excellent guilty pleasure soundtrack. Second, the run-of-the-mill love triangle is made more interesting by the incorporation of strong and well-developed female characters.
3. Center Stage (2000)
Dets: An unseasoned dancer finds cutthroat competition, romance, and plenty of drama at a prestigious ballet company in NYC. Mandy Moore soundtrack. Everything works out exactly as you'd expect - scoring with the hot principle dancer, getting heartbroken, and then getting over it. The drama and romance for those not in the thick of it is pure delight.
2. Clueless (1995)
Dets: Alicia Silverstone, Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto crash cars, pass out, and fail tests but still manage to preserve their integrity - only in Hollywood (or politics?). This movie is decadent but I'd watch it again right now.
1. Bring it On (2000)
Dets:
Kirsten Dunst and some of-the-moment teen stars use their spirit fingers to triumph over backstabbing and ego trips. Upbeat and fast-paced. Spawn of numerous sequels that are presumably all guilt and no pleasure.
In Sum:
I wasn't sure which should rank higher - the unequivocally bad movies that I enjoy the most, or the ones that I feel guiltiest about enjoying, which are necessarily the least critically acclaimed. I decided to put the guilty pleasure movie that I like to most first, but the one I feel guiltiest about enjoying is Center Stage, with Cool Runnings a close second. In general, I consider guilty pleasure movies to be those that indulge fantasies about life without making any profound commentary about reality. I thought about including Mr. Holland's Opus, The Breakfast Club, and That Thing You Do!, but decided that they actually have some substance and I don't feel guilty watching or enjoying them in spite of the fact that they have not made it into the canon.
Read more!
Dets: Sequels are often good candidates for guilty pleasures. As it turns out, the original My Girl is also a guilty pleasure, but I like the sequel a bit more. In the preferred installment, Vada Sultenfuss heads to L.A. in search of information about her dead mother, which her doting but still-grieving father (none other than Dan Akroyd) is unable to provide. The narrative of her adventures is augmented by a fabulous classic rock soundtrack, but that's just one of the pleasures of this film - don't overlook the jejune flirtations, gratuitous name-checking, cliche Hollywood/hippie scenes, and lack of verisimilitude.
9. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991)
Dets: Many hours of my childhood were spent watching this moving and fantasizing about what I would do if left unattended with plenty of cash for an entire summer. This movie doesn't boast quality cinematography but it's quite imaginative and undeniably fun (and sometimes disturbing, as in a creepy David Duchovny hitting on high-school Christina Applegate) to watch.
8. Dirty Dancing (1987)
Dets: One of those ubiquitous coming-of-age films, Baby is a sheltered teenager who learns a few life lessons along with some new dance steps while on vacation with her family in the Catskills. I never thought I would like this movie and so hate to think of how many times I have sat through the most repetitive and asinine television commercials just to see Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze dancing and romancing to such eighties classics as "Hungry Eyes" and "I've Had the Time of My Life."
7. Cool Runnings (1993)
Dets: "Sanka, you dead, mon?" "Ya, mon." This movie is based (loosely) on the saga of the Jamaican Bobsled Team's try for gold at the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary. John Candy and Doug E. Doug play on stereotypes and add hilarity to the absurdity of this endeavor. That sentence explains why the movie is both guilty and a pleasure for me.
6. Little Women (1994)
Dets: This adaptation of the novel by Louisa May Alcott features an all-star cast (Susan Sarandon, Wynona Ryder, Christian Bale, Kirsten Dunst, Claire Danes, Gabriel Byrne) trying to affect convincing nineteenth-century American accents while highlighting the intense pathos and simple joys of New England during the Civil War. It's a maudlin and over-simplified adaptation of a wonderful book, but I'm a sucker for sweet romances and period costumes and thus can never resist the temptation to pop in my VHS copy and smile through my tears as I watch Jo and Teddy lust for and lose each other, Papa return from war, and Amy finally live the life she dreamed of.
5. Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)
Dets: Another period film adapted from a literary work. This time, it's Renaissance France, with Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Houston, and Dougray Scott in wonderful costumes. But it's a fairy tale, so it's a guilty pleasure.
4. My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)
Dets: First of all, this film boasts an excellent guilty pleasure soundtrack. Second, the run-of-the-mill love triangle is made more interesting by the incorporation of strong and well-developed female characters.
3. Center Stage (2000)
Dets: An unseasoned dancer finds cutthroat competition, romance, and plenty of drama at a prestigious ballet company in NYC. Mandy Moore soundtrack. Everything works out exactly as you'd expect - scoring with the hot principle dancer, getting heartbroken, and then getting over it. The drama and romance for those not in the thick of it is pure delight.
2. Clueless (1995)
Dets: Alicia Silverstone, Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto crash cars, pass out, and fail tests but still manage to preserve their integrity - only in Hollywood (or politics?). This movie is decadent but I'd watch it again right now.
1. Bring it On (2000)
Dets:
Kirsten Dunst and some of-the-moment teen stars use their spirit fingers to triumph over backstabbing and ego trips. Upbeat and fast-paced. Spawn of numerous sequels that are presumably all guilt and no pleasure.
In Sum:
I wasn't sure which should rank higher - the unequivocally bad movies that I enjoy the most, or the ones that I feel guiltiest about enjoying, which are necessarily the least critically acclaimed. I decided to put the guilty pleasure movie that I like to most first, but the one I feel guiltiest about enjoying is Center Stage, with Cool Runnings a close second. In general, I consider guilty pleasure movies to be those that indulge fantasies about life without making any profound commentary about reality. I thought about including Mr. Holland's Opus, The Breakfast Club, and That Thing You Do!, but decided that they actually have some substance and I don't feel guilty watching or enjoying them in spite of the fact that they have not made it into the canon.
Read more!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Guest Post
This week we welcome our good friend Caitlin as a guest poster. Do you want to guest post on The Top 10? Just leave a comment with your e-mail address!
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Sunday, August 24, 2008
Next Topic
Sorry for two movie posts in a row, but they are my favorite. I have chosen Top 10 Guilty Pleasure movies. These are movies that you enjoy that are either widely considered to be bad or you feel embarrassed about enjoying. I have considered expanding this to perhaps include television shows, bands, and books. Feel free to opine on this idea.
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Saturday, August 23, 2008
Hula Boy's Thoughts on the Cage-Jackson Theory
10. Snakes on a Plane
Sammy J was made for this movie, plain and simple. He brings a realism that no other actor could to such an outlandish movie. I think this movie is worth it alone for the single greatest quote in movie history. Also, Keenan (or is it Kel) is in the movie, and Sammy J has to tell him how his videogame experience is gonna help save the flight.
9. Con Air
Nic Cage one ups Sammy J with an even better 'worst possible scenario on a plane' movie. This movie gets extra points for Nic's woeful attempt at a southern accent and his stylish looking hair. I think this movie has the best cast on this list too (John Malkovich, John Cusack, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Monica Potter, Dave Chappelle...ok maybe it only has a couple good actors).
8. Valley Girl
This movie is a must see for the fact that it is one of Nic's first movies and features him with a red highlight in his hair. But even better, he has shaved his chest so that he looks hairless with three buttons undone, but there is a beach scene where you see that he only shaved a triangle toward the top of his chest. This sounds ridiculous and is.
7. Werewolf Women of the S.S.
This movie tops Snakes on a Plane in ridiculousness plus it stars Nic Cage as Fu Manchu. 'Nuff said.
6. Wild At Heart
Nic Cage in a David Lynch movie. It seems like such a natural pairing. Plus, I'm going through a Lynch phase right now.
5. The Weather Man
I really liked this movie, and was maybe the only one. It also includes the handing of the torch as Michael Caine supports his soon to be theoretical substitute Nic Cage. And Nic Cage plays Michael Caine's son. Does anyone else see the resemblance? I don't. Oh, and the kid from About A Boy plays his son. Yea, I never knew Nic Cage was British.
4. Unbreakable
The merits of this movie have been previously documented. But let me add once thought to this list...Samuel L. Jackson is infinitely better when paired with Bruce Willis.
3. Bringing Out the Dead
Prior to making this list, I thought that Samuel L. Jackson would make most of the list leaving Nic Cage out. I completely forgot that Nic Cage actually put forth a solid performance in this movie here.
2. Iron Man
Yea, Samuel L. Jackson only has a bit part. But it is a great movie. And I include it for one more reason, to emphasize the superhero present in both of these fine actors. Nick Fury was redefined in the comic book universe to be Samuel L. Jackson, how cool is that. And Nic Cage is a superhero, I mean not only did he change his last name to be Luke's younger and much weaker brother, but he gave birth to Superman's son Kal-El. Check out the picture at the end of this post for further proof.
1. Pulp Fiction
By far the greatest flick on this list, it defined Samuel L. Jackson's career and gave him a role that he would never be able to top. Plus, there just aren't enough Sammy J movies with him in an afro.
I really didn't feel like I left any movies off this list that I didn't want to. I do have some movies that I need to see by both of these actors though including The Incredibles and Adaptation. Hula Boy ends this post with a fun little picture...
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Sammy J was made for this movie, plain and simple. He brings a realism that no other actor could to such an outlandish movie. I think this movie is worth it alone for the single greatest quote in movie history. Also, Keenan (or is it Kel) is in the movie, and Sammy J has to tell him how his videogame experience is gonna help save the flight.
9. Con Air
Nic Cage one ups Sammy J with an even better 'worst possible scenario on a plane' movie. This movie gets extra points for Nic's woeful attempt at a southern accent and his stylish looking hair. I think this movie has the best cast on this list too (John Malkovich, John Cusack, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Monica Potter, Dave Chappelle...ok maybe it only has a couple good actors).
8. Valley Girl
This movie is a must see for the fact that it is one of Nic's first movies and features him with a red highlight in his hair. But even better, he has shaved his chest so that he looks hairless with three buttons undone, but there is a beach scene where you see that he only shaved a triangle toward the top of his chest. This sounds ridiculous and is.
7. Werewolf Women of the S.S.
This movie tops Snakes on a Plane in ridiculousness plus it stars Nic Cage as Fu Manchu. 'Nuff said.
6. Wild At Heart
Nic Cage in a David Lynch movie. It seems like such a natural pairing. Plus, I'm going through a Lynch phase right now.
5. The Weather Man
I really liked this movie, and was maybe the only one. It also includes the handing of the torch as Michael Caine supports his soon to be theoretical substitute Nic Cage. And Nic Cage plays Michael Caine's son. Does anyone else see the resemblance? I don't. Oh, and the kid from About A Boy plays his son. Yea, I never knew Nic Cage was British.
4. Unbreakable
The merits of this movie have been previously documented. But let me add once thought to this list...Samuel L. Jackson is infinitely better when paired with Bruce Willis.
3. Bringing Out the Dead
Prior to making this list, I thought that Samuel L. Jackson would make most of the list leaving Nic Cage out. I completely forgot that Nic Cage actually put forth a solid performance in this movie here.
2. Iron Man
Yea, Samuel L. Jackson only has a bit part. But it is a great movie. And I include it for one more reason, to emphasize the superhero present in both of these fine actors. Nick Fury was redefined in the comic book universe to be Samuel L. Jackson, how cool is that. And Nic Cage is a superhero, I mean not only did he change his last name to be Luke's younger and much weaker brother, but he gave birth to Superman's son Kal-El. Check out the picture at the end of this post for further proof.
1. Pulp Fiction
By far the greatest flick on this list, it defined Samuel L. Jackson's career and gave him a role that he would never be able to top. Plus, there just aren't enough Sammy J movies with him in an afro.
I really didn't feel like I left any movies off this list that I didn't want to. I do have some movies that I need to see by both of these actors though including The Incredibles and Adaptation. Hula Boy ends this post with a fun little picture...
Read more!
Josh's Favorite Nic Cage and Sammy J movies
This list was pretty tricky for me because I've never seen Snakes on a Plane or Pulp Fiction or a few of the other movies starring Cage and Jackson.
10. Star Wars - Episode III
This almost didn't make the list because Sam Jackson essentially bitched out and let the emperor take control of the galaxy.
9. The Family Man
A heart warming story about why you should never talk to crazies in convenience stores.
8. City of Angels
Where we learn what it's like to be an angel. Boring as shit.
7. Face/Off
A movie proving that the medical field has given up on curing cancer and AIDS, and wants to focus on cooler things, like turning one person into another. Unfortunately, I don't have the technology or the steady hand to pull off that kind of procedure.
6. The Rock
Making me never want to visit a prison. Ever.
5. Deep Blue Sea
Lesson learned? Don't take god's oldest killing machine and give it will and desire. Unless you have Tom Jane there to sort it out.
4. Incredibles
This movie showed us that women move your stuff even when you're a superhero. Also, no excuse is good enough to cancel dinner plans.
3. Unbreakable
This movie was good, despite Samuel L. Jackson being the shittiest villain ever. He was a dumber version of Lex Luthor, with brittle bones.
2. Jurassic Park
In hindsight, when building the computer infrastructure along with Newman, Samuel L. Jackson should have put in a little more security. Of course, how much can you do with Windows 3.1?
1. Die Hard with a Vengeance
Samuel L. Jackson was a pretty big racist in this movie. He is forgiven because he helps John McClain solve that water jug puzzle. After seeing this movie loads of times, I still don't know how they solved that.
Read more!
10. Star Wars - Episode III
This almost didn't make the list because Sam Jackson essentially bitched out and let the emperor take control of the galaxy.
9. The Family Man
A heart warming story about why you should never talk to crazies in convenience stores.
8. City of Angels
Where we learn what it's like to be an angel. Boring as shit.
7. Face/Off
A movie proving that the medical field has given up on curing cancer and AIDS, and wants to focus on cooler things, like turning one person into another. Unfortunately, I don't have the technology or the steady hand to pull off that kind of procedure.
6. The Rock
Making me never want to visit a prison. Ever.
5. Deep Blue Sea
Lesson learned? Don't take god's oldest killing machine and give it will and desire. Unless you have Tom Jane there to sort it out.
4. Incredibles
This movie showed us that women move your stuff even when you're a superhero. Also, no excuse is good enough to cancel dinner plans.
3. Unbreakable
This movie was good, despite Samuel L. Jackson being the shittiest villain ever. He was a dumber version of Lex Luthor, with brittle bones.
2. Jurassic Park
In hindsight, when building the computer infrastructure along with Newman, Samuel L. Jackson should have put in a little more security. Of course, how much can you do with Windows 3.1?
1. Die Hard with a Vengeance
Samuel L. Jackson was a pretty big racist in this movie. He is forgiven because he helps John McClain solve that water jug puzzle. After seeing this movie loads of times, I still don't know how they solved that.
Read more!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Nic, Sam, and Dan at the Movies
I didn’t want to choose a movie where the actors made a cameo or had an incredibly minor role (so sorry Grindhouse, Kill Bill Vol. II, Goodfellas, and Iron Man). Also, I have not seen all of their films so I’m sure I’m leaving out good ones.
10) The Incredibles: This is not ranked higher on my list because Mr. Jackson only provided a supporting role. However, the film is just too good to leave off. Frozone’s argument with his wife while a robot attacks the city is classic. Mr. Jackson also provides some hilarious commentary to a bonus short film included on the dvd.
9) The Wicker Man: This movie is terrible. One of the most poorly conceived, shoddily directed efforts of recent years. However, Mr. Cage’s performance is so manic and over-the-top that its hilarity can only be intentional. His cries of, “Howdit get burned? HOWDIT GET BURNED???,” and, “Not the bees, you bitches,” are comedic gold.
8) Deep Blue Sea: Similar in quality to the Wicker Man, but featuring one of Samuel L. Jackson’s greatest scenes. I don’t wish to spoil it, but his speech to rally his scientists in their fight against the super-smart sharks is brilliantly handled.
7) Matchstick Men: This is a fun, if predictable, story about an obsessive compulsive con man dealing with the discovery of an estranged daughter. The tone remains light throughout, but Mr. Cage is able to anchor it with a strong performance.
6) National Treasure: I can’t help it, I really enjoy this movie. Although mildly corny, the comedy generally works and the action is fast-paced. I also love seeing movies that use Philadelphia well. Avoid the horrendous sequel at all costs!!!
5) Unbreakable: Mr. Jackson performs wonderfully as Elijah Price. I wonder if he spent time in comic book shops in order to perfect the air of desperateness that he surrounds Elijah with. “Mr. Glass” only fits in a fantastical comic book world, and even then he can’t be a hero.
4) Jackie Brown: This is definitely Quentin Tarantino’s most underrated film. Every cast member is at the top of their game, including Mr. Jackson as the weapons/drug dealer Ordell Robbie. You know you’ve hit the acting big-time when Robert DeNiro is playing second fiddle to you.
3) Adaptation: Nicolas Cage stars as screenwriter Charlie Kaufman and his fictional brother Donald Kaufman in this film loosely based on Charlie Kaufman writing this film (of course with the addition of said fictional brother). The movie is by turns sad, zany, violent, but always brilliant.
2) Bringing Out the Dead: Another underrated film by a great director: this time it’s Martin Scorsese. Mr. Cage convincingly shows the mental breakdown of a New York paramedic who can no longer deal with the constant pressure of saving lives. The movie is filled with a twisted supporting cast of characters played by John Goodman, Tom Sizemore, and Ving Rhames.
1) Pulp Fiction: This is the movie that made Samuel L. Jackson into the icon he is today. Motherfucker wouldn’t be the same without this film. He may not have as large a role as Bruce Willis or John Travolta, but for my money Mr. Jackson is the highlight of this film. His appropriation of biblical psalms manage to sound both menacing and comforting. You’re never sure if Jules is going to ask you out for a burger or shoot you in the head.
Honorable Mentions:
Jurassic Park: The first time I ever saw Samuel J.
Star Wars Episodes I-III: His performance may be bordering on the wooden, but Mace Windu kicks ass.
Sphere: I liked this movie in sixth grade. There’s no accounting for taste, I suppose.
Lord of War: I don’t care what other people say, I enjoyed it.
Con Air: Almost knocked out the Wicker Man on my list.
Fire Birds: Nicolas Cage has sex with the oddly Nic Cage-ian Sean Young. Gross.
Raising Arizona: Enjoyed some of this on cable once, but didn’t see enough to justify putting on my list.
Read more!
10) The Incredibles: This is not ranked higher on my list because Mr. Jackson only provided a supporting role. However, the film is just too good to leave off. Frozone’s argument with his wife while a robot attacks the city is classic. Mr. Jackson also provides some hilarious commentary to a bonus short film included on the dvd.
9) The Wicker Man: This movie is terrible. One of the most poorly conceived, shoddily directed efforts of recent years. However, Mr. Cage’s performance is so manic and over-the-top that its hilarity can only be intentional. His cries of, “Howdit get burned? HOWDIT GET BURNED???,” and, “Not the bees, you bitches,” are comedic gold.
8) Deep Blue Sea: Similar in quality to the Wicker Man, but featuring one of Samuel L. Jackson’s greatest scenes. I don’t wish to spoil it, but his speech to rally his scientists in their fight against the super-smart sharks is brilliantly handled.
7) Matchstick Men: This is a fun, if predictable, story about an obsessive compulsive con man dealing with the discovery of an estranged daughter. The tone remains light throughout, but Mr. Cage is able to anchor it with a strong performance.
6) National Treasure: I can’t help it, I really enjoy this movie. Although mildly corny, the comedy generally works and the action is fast-paced. I also love seeing movies that use Philadelphia well. Avoid the horrendous sequel at all costs!!!
5) Unbreakable: Mr. Jackson performs wonderfully as Elijah Price. I wonder if he spent time in comic book shops in order to perfect the air of desperateness that he surrounds Elijah with. “Mr. Glass” only fits in a fantastical comic book world, and even then he can’t be a hero.
4) Jackie Brown: This is definitely Quentin Tarantino’s most underrated film. Every cast member is at the top of their game, including Mr. Jackson as the weapons/drug dealer Ordell Robbie. You know you’ve hit the acting big-time when Robert DeNiro is playing second fiddle to you.
3) Adaptation: Nicolas Cage stars as screenwriter Charlie Kaufman and his fictional brother Donald Kaufman in this film loosely based on Charlie Kaufman writing this film (of course with the addition of said fictional brother). The movie is by turns sad, zany, violent, but always brilliant.
2) Bringing Out the Dead: Another underrated film by a great director: this time it’s Martin Scorsese. Mr. Cage convincingly shows the mental breakdown of a New York paramedic who can no longer deal with the constant pressure of saving lives. The movie is filled with a twisted supporting cast of characters played by John Goodman, Tom Sizemore, and Ving Rhames.
1) Pulp Fiction: This is the movie that made Samuel L. Jackson into the icon he is today. Motherfucker wouldn’t be the same without this film. He may not have as large a role as Bruce Willis or John Travolta, but for my money Mr. Jackson is the highlight of this film. His appropriation of biblical psalms manage to sound both menacing and comforting. You’re never sure if Jules is going to ask you out for a burger or shoot you in the head.
Honorable Mentions:
Jurassic Park: The first time I ever saw Samuel J.
Star Wars Episodes I-III: His performance may be bordering on the wooden, but Mace Windu kicks ass.
Sphere: I liked this movie in sixth grade. There’s no accounting for taste, I suppose.
Lord of War: I don’t care what other people say, I enjoyed it.
Con Air: Almost knocked out the Wicker Man on my list.
Fire Birds: Nicolas Cage has sex with the oddly Nic Cage-ian Sean Young. Gross.
Raising Arizona: Enjoyed some of this on cable once, but didn’t see enough to justify putting on my list.
Read more!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Dan Lies (College Edition)
10) "We are constantly making improvements on our dining options" There is very little that can be done with slop.
9) "Do you want to study together tonight?" Do you want to examine my throat tonight?
8) "Just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels" This person has either seen 'Wedding Crashers' too often, or is going to take advantage of your openness.
7) "That isn't laced with roofies" I've fallen for it. You've fallen for it. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
6) "You should get a laptop for class" NO. Undergraduates only need a laptop if they plan on spending an hour distracting their surrounding classmates with Facebook and online Scrabble.
5) "I absolutely do not grade on a curve" If the class does poorly enough, the professor will grade on a curve. Just aim low!
4) "I'd love to watch Legally Blonde 2" Meaning: I'd love to touch your boobs.
3) "You will need to buy the textbook for this course" You will never need to buy the textbook for this course.
2) "Yeah...that test was hard" The longer the pause, the more likely this is to be a lie. The person telling you this is just trying to spare your feelings, dummy.
1) "That test was so easy" The person shouting this lie, and he/she will be shouting it, is trying to cement him/herself into the role of classroom douche. Chances are everyone else in the class will be leaving with glum faces, but will ultimately do better on the test and in life.
Read more!
9) "Do you want to study together tonight?" Do you want to examine my throat tonight?
8) "Just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels" This person has either seen 'Wedding Crashers' too often, or is going to take advantage of your openness.
7) "That isn't laced with roofies" I've fallen for it. You've fallen for it. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
6) "You should get a laptop for class" NO. Undergraduates only need a laptop if they plan on spending an hour distracting their surrounding classmates with Facebook and online Scrabble.
5) "I absolutely do not grade on a curve" If the class does poorly enough, the professor will grade on a curve. Just aim low!
4) "I'd love to watch Legally Blonde 2" Meaning: I'd love to touch your boobs.
3) "You will need to buy the textbook for this course" You will never need to buy the textbook for this course.
2) "Yeah...that test was hard" The longer the pause, the more likely this is to be a lie. The person telling you this is just trying to spare your feelings, dummy.
1) "That test was so easy" The person shouting this lie, and he/she will be shouting it, is trying to cement him/herself into the role of classroom douche. Chances are everyone else in the class will be leaving with glum faces, but will ultimately do better on the test and in life.
Read more!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Hula Boy's Top Ten College Lies
10. The Yale Lie
“I got into Yale, but decided to go elsewhere.” We all know these people. If they were telling the truth, you would think that Yale was like the easiest school to get into.
9. The SAT Lie
“I got a 1600 (or insert other SAT score here) on my SAT.” These folks are almost as worse as the people in the prior group. Again, we know the test is curved, so this is impossible. Plus nobody really cares what you got on the SAT.
8. The Checkers Lie
“My Yahoo! Online game checkers rating is 1550.” This is even worse than the previous lie, because as little as I care about your SAT score, I care even less about your checkers rating.
7. The Never Have I Ever Lie
“Never have I ever…” That game is like the anti-lie detector test.
6. The UHC Lie
Anything related to the multiple tiers of the honors college. We all know firsthand about this lie. While believed to be false, the real truth is still out there.
5. The Skulls Lie
“There is this secret society…called The Skulls.” I saw the movie, it sucked, plus there is no way a secret organization could have existed with Bush as a member.
4. The Harvard Lie
“I got into Harvard, but I decided to go elsewhere.” See number 10.
3. The MJ Lie
“My uncle is Michael Jordan.” I heard this once…from a white kid.
2. The Pre-Med Lie
Student A: “What are you majoring in?” Students B-Z: “Pre-med.” Ahh, the days of being a freshmen. When you thought college would be like one of those College movies and you were going to be a pre-med student.
1. The Death of a Roommate Lie
“If your roommate dies, then you get a 4.0 QPA for the semester.” I saw this movie too, and it sucked. But at least it had Zach Morris in it.
Read more!
“I got into Yale, but decided to go elsewhere.” We all know these people. If they were telling the truth, you would think that Yale was like the easiest school to get into.
9. The SAT Lie
“I got a 1600 (or insert other SAT score here) on my SAT.” These folks are almost as worse as the people in the prior group. Again, we know the test is curved, so this is impossible. Plus nobody really cares what you got on the SAT.
8. The Checkers Lie
“My Yahoo! Online game checkers rating is 1550.” This is even worse than the previous lie, because as little as I care about your SAT score, I care even less about your checkers rating.
7. The Never Have I Ever Lie
“Never have I ever…” That game is like the anti-lie detector test.
6. The UHC Lie
Anything related to the multiple tiers of the honors college. We all know firsthand about this lie. While believed to be false, the real truth is still out there.
5. The Skulls Lie
“There is this secret society…called The Skulls.” I saw the movie, it sucked, plus there is no way a secret organization could have existed with Bush as a member.
4. The Harvard Lie
“I got into Harvard, but I decided to go elsewhere.” See number 10.
3. The MJ Lie
“My uncle is Michael Jordan.” I heard this once…from a white kid.
2. The Pre-Med Lie
Student A: “What are you majoring in?” Students B-Z: “Pre-med.” Ahh, the days of being a freshmen. When you thought college would be like one of those College movies and you were going to be a pre-med student.
1. The Death of a Roommate Lie
“If your roommate dies, then you get a 4.0 QPA for the semester.” I saw this movie too, and it sucked. But at least it had Zach Morris in it.
Read more!
Josh's List of Top Ten Lies Told in College
WARNING: This list is rated PG-13 to R
10. It's just gonna be a guy's/girl's night, I'm sorry.
When is it used? When a boyfriend or girlfriend can't spend another minute with their respective other. It can also be used by a friend, who can't stand their friend's better half anymore.
Why is it a lie? This is number ten because every once in a while it's not a lie. More often than not though, this is used to get away from an ever-present significant other, and the person is NOT sorry.
9. I'll be graduating in four years.
When is it used? Freshman, sophomore and junior year. Usually when talking to parents.
Why is it a lie? Alcohol, sex and dicking around.
8. Don't worry, I'm on the pill.
When is it used? Right before sex.
Why is it a lie? She isn't. She is just looking for the MRS degree.
7. I studied all night
When is it used? When someone needs to intimidate classmates, or assure themselves somehow, as if by repeating something over and over, it will become true.
Why is it a lie? Usually, the person spent all night playing WoW or getting drunk. It's college for god sakes.
6. I e-mailed you that paper, it must have just not gone through.
When is it used? Whenever someone needs to trick a technologically illiterate professor into extending a deadline for a paper the person has not even started yet. Other variations include "I uploaded it to courseweb", "The e-mail address you gave us bounced back"
Why is it a lie? What is this, 1997? How often do emails get lost in cyberspace? It doesn't count if your spam filter picks it up. People should know by now that e-mail, especially on a university server, is pretty reliable.
5. I'm 21.
When is it used? When a freshman or sophomore wants to get into a bar?
Why is it a lie? Their ID picture makes them look like a future pedophile and they only have one name. Who do they think they are, Seal?
4. I'm drunk too.
When is it used? When a male wants to relieve his own conscience and the concerns of the sloppily drunk female he is preparing to fool around with.
Why is it a lie? He has had one or two beers, but doesn't want to think about the fact that technically it's rape.
3. Nothing.
When is it used? When a male inquires with a female about the possibility of the female being angry, sad or just in a mood. Usually the question will be "What's wrong?"
Why is it a lie? Most often there is most definitely something wrong. It is usually something the male asking the question either caused, or failed to notice when the female was expressing what she believed were obvious signs of her emotional distress.
2. That's what she said.
When is it used? Essentially anytime anyone says anything that could be remotely interpreted as sexual.
Why is it a lie? Rarely, if ever, does the person know a girl who has said such a thing.
1. I came.
When is it used? During or after sex. It is most frequently used by the female in the equation, but males have been known to use this line very occasionally.
Why is it a lie? Most often, she or he didn't. When do women lie about it? According to my friend, "Sometimes you'll find someone who has no idea what they're doing or sometimes you're really tired and you don't want to be that girl who won't just have sex so you fake it to get it over with, get them to climb off you, and go to bed."
Read more!
10. It's just gonna be a guy's/girl's night, I'm sorry.
When is it used? When a boyfriend or girlfriend can't spend another minute with their respective other. It can also be used by a friend, who can't stand their friend's better half anymore.
Why is it a lie? This is number ten because every once in a while it's not a lie. More often than not though, this is used to get away from an ever-present significant other, and the person is NOT sorry.
9. I'll be graduating in four years.
When is it used? Freshman, sophomore and junior year. Usually when talking to parents.
Why is it a lie? Alcohol, sex and dicking around.
8. Don't worry, I'm on the pill.
When is it used? Right before sex.
Why is it a lie? She isn't. She is just looking for the MRS degree.
7. I studied all night
When is it used? When someone needs to intimidate classmates, or assure themselves somehow, as if by repeating something over and over, it will become true.
Why is it a lie? Usually, the person spent all night playing WoW or getting drunk. It's college for god sakes.
6. I e-mailed you that paper, it must have just not gone through.
When is it used? Whenever someone needs to trick a technologically illiterate professor into extending a deadline for a paper the person has not even started yet. Other variations include "I uploaded it to courseweb", "The e-mail address you gave us bounced back"
Why is it a lie? What is this, 1997? How often do emails get lost in cyberspace? It doesn't count if your spam filter picks it up. People should know by now that e-mail, especially on a university server, is pretty reliable.
5. I'm 21.
When is it used? When a freshman or sophomore wants to get into a bar?
Why is it a lie? Their ID picture makes them look like a future pedophile and they only have one name. Who do they think they are, Seal?
4. I'm drunk too.
When is it used? When a male wants to relieve his own conscience and the concerns of the sloppily drunk female he is preparing to fool around with.
Why is it a lie? He has had one or two beers, but doesn't want to think about the fact that technically it's rape.
3. Nothing.
When is it used? When a male inquires with a female about the possibility of the female being angry, sad or just in a mood. Usually the question will be "What's wrong?"
Why is it a lie? Most often there is most definitely something wrong. It is usually something the male asking the question either caused, or failed to notice when the female was expressing what she believed were obvious signs of her emotional distress.
2. That's what she said.
When is it used? Essentially anytime anyone says anything that could be remotely interpreted as sexual.
Why is it a lie? Rarely, if ever, does the person know a girl who has said such a thing.
1. I came.
When is it used? During or after sex. It is most frequently used by the female in the equation, but males have been known to use this line very occasionally.
Why is it a lie? Most often, she or he didn't. When do women lie about it? According to my friend, "Sometimes you'll find someone who has no idea what they're doing or sometimes you're really tired and you don't want to be that girl who won't just have sex so you fake it to get it over with, get them to climb off you, and go to bed."
Read more!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Kevin's Top Ten Television Scenes
10. I sometimes do this when I am particularly victorious:
9. Homer Simpson Does Not Lie Twice: I couldn’t find a video of this. So here is the transcript.
[Homer has to write his full name on an application form but he doesn't know what his middle initial stands for]
Bart: Uh, so Dad, regarding that form, why not just make up a middle name?
Lisa: You might as well. You already made up a phony film credit.
Homer: No. Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has and he never will.
Marge: You lied dozens of times on our mortgage application.
Homer: Yeah, but they were all part of a single ball of lies. The point is, I'm a grown man, and I deserve a middle name.
8. I have to be careful about this one, Camson might get an erection:
7. You can skip to the 0:47 mark for the best part.
Neither of these are long scenes, so here is a bonus clip (make sure to follow the subtitles at the end):
6. I am sad that I will probably not see another episode of this for a long time (sorry the user disabled embedding):
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2743381023391280544&ei=3_mcSNbhC4OYrALk2rAt&q=californication+sex+punch&vt=lf
5. “You really don’t realize what’s happening?”
“I think I do. Let’s take off our clothes.”
4. “Now was it two girls and a guy or a devil’s threesome?”
3. This is very similar to the way I met Dan. He also took the number.
2. “I am the lord your God!”
1. Ari and Lloyd being cute.
Read more!
9. Homer Simpson Does Not Lie Twice: I couldn’t find a video of this. So here is the transcript.
[Homer has to write his full name on an application form but he doesn't know what his middle initial stands for]
Bart: Uh, so Dad, regarding that form, why not just make up a middle name?
Lisa: You might as well. You already made up a phony film credit.
Homer: No. Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has and he never will.
Marge: You lied dozens of times on our mortgage application.
Homer: Yeah, but they were all part of a single ball of lies. The point is, I'm a grown man, and I deserve a middle name.
8. I have to be careful about this one, Camson might get an erection:
7. You can skip to the 0:47 mark for the best part.
Neither of these are long scenes, so here is a bonus clip (make sure to follow the subtitles at the end):
6. I am sad that I will probably not see another episode of this for a long time (sorry the user disabled embedding):
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2743381023391280544&ei=3_mcSNbhC4OYrALk2rAt&q=californication+sex+punch&vt=lf
5. “You really don’t realize what’s happening?”
“I think I do. Let’s take off our clothes.”
4. “Now was it two girls and a guy or a devil’s threesome?”
3. This is very similar to the way I met Dan. He also took the number.
2. “I am the lord your God!”
1. Ari and Lloyd being cute.
Read more!
Dan's Favorite Television Moments
Most of my clips are comedic ones. I can't help it, I much prefer television comedies to dramas.
10) South Park "Spooky Ghost:" Randy Marsh can't live without internet porn, and I couldn't live without this clip!
9)Seinfeld "Kramer's Pinky Toe Story:" I used to know this whole bit by heart. Kramer's shining moment, and one of the best punchlines in Seinfeld history.
8) Extras "Ian McKellan:" Sir Ian explains acting to Andy.
7) Looney Tunes "What's Opera, Doc?:" One of the highlights of television animation. The marriage between the score and the animation is flawless. Bugs Bunny seducing Elmer Fudd is sick genius.
6) Arrested Development "Baby, you got a stew going:" Carl Weather teaches the most important lesson that anyone could learn.
5) South Park "Scott Tenorman Must Die:" Cartman at his evilest:
4) The Office "Prison Mike:" I am not even watching this clip, just listening to it and I'm cracking up. "Da bell of da ball," "Don't drop the soap," "Dementors." Comic gold.
3) Kid Nation "Jared is a pimp:" I love it.
2) The Simpsons "A Thousand Monkeys:" Clips like this are why I love the Simpsons. I could have filled this entire list with Simpsons' clips. This one happens to come from one of my favorite episodes "Last Exit to Springfield."
1) The Office Christmas Special: I think the ending of the UK version of the Office is one of the greatest moments of television. I can only hope the American one can compare. Here are the last ten minutes of the episode:
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10) South Park "Spooky Ghost:" Randy Marsh can't live without internet porn, and I couldn't live without this clip!
9)Seinfeld "Kramer's Pinky Toe Story:" I used to know this whole bit by heart. Kramer's shining moment, and one of the best punchlines in Seinfeld history.
8) Extras "Ian McKellan:" Sir Ian explains acting to Andy.
7) Looney Tunes "What's Opera, Doc?:" One of the highlights of television animation. The marriage between the score and the animation is flawless. Bugs Bunny seducing Elmer Fudd is sick genius.
6) Arrested Development "Baby, you got a stew going:" Carl Weather teaches the most important lesson that anyone could learn.
5) South Park "Scott Tenorman Must Die:" Cartman at his evilest:
4) The Office "Prison Mike:" I am not even watching this clip, just listening to it and I'm cracking up. "Da bell of da ball," "Don't drop the soap," "Dementors." Comic gold.
3) Kid Nation "Jared is a pimp:" I love it.
2) The Simpsons "A Thousand Monkeys:" Clips like this are why I love the Simpsons. I could have filled this entire list with Simpsons' clips. This one happens to come from one of my favorite episodes "Last Exit to Springfield."
1) The Office Christmas Special: I think the ending of the UK version of the Office is one of the greatest moments of television. I can only hope the American one can compare. Here are the last ten minutes of the episode:
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Hula Boy's Top Ten Television Scenes
10. Dead Like Me Intro- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xM7xSSDd7TQ&feature=related
Does a credit scene constitute a scene? I’m not sure, but I loved the show Dead Like Me, and feel that it by far had the best intro.
9. Rescue Me Quote – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPQwWGoBtyU
The end of the first episode of Rescue Me is my favorite, but this is the funniest scene that I could find on YouTube. For those interested, the correct source of the quote is The Bible.
8. Veronica Mars featuring Spoon- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHbkF-uPXVM
A personal favorite of mine. I discovered the band Spoon, a new fave, via an earlier song on Veronica Mars, and was even more excited to see Britt Daniels (the lead singer) appear on the show singing one of my favorite songs (an Elvis Costello classic) that fits perfectly into the show. Plus, I’ve met the guy, so it got an extra boost for that.
7. Twin Peaks Log Lady- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36aONSPSlMo&feature=related
Behind what first appears to be nonsense is actually a deep description of the events that will eventually follow the Log Lady, who introduced each episode of the early ‘90s classic Twin Peaks. I was searching for a classic intro revolving around creamed corn, but had to settle for this clip with I think two Log Lady introductions.
6. Joe Schmoe Exit Scene- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmX1gdC-KfY
Kip’s swim scene, Hutch’s continued shenanigans, Dr. Pat being in Knocked Up… There are so many great scenes to choose from, but I think the ‘swarmy’ hosts’ cheesy vote off speech tops them all. Plus I found it on YouTube.
5. Twin Peaks featuring David Duchovny – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s0VuCSRAew
Before X-Files, Red Shoe Diaries, Evolution, and Californication, David Duchovny had this doosie of a guest stint. I don’t want to spoil the greatness of this clip, but insist that it is a must watch.
4. Angel Finale - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6xowiYWynM&feature=related
Another concluding scene to a Joss Whedon show, what can I say, the guy knows how to write endings (and beginnings and middles for that matter). But what better way to end a series then having the heroes faced with the impossible task of ending an apocalypse spurred by an evil law firm? Sounds like what we may be headed to in the near future any way. Plus the cheesy and ridiculous thank you from WB is absurd, considering they ended the show by cancelling it.
3. Shield Death Scene – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9biuFynyipU
*SPOILER* The past season of The Shield ended in dramatic fashion involving the death of one of the most well liked and lead characters. I was unable to find the scene on YouTube, but found a tribute video with another shitty soundtrack. What is it with people taking great moments in television and making them almost unbearable by laying screamo music behind them.
2. More Cowbell - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhSkRHXTKlw
The best SNL skit of all time? I know it’s old and worn down, but it is a classic and a phenomenal clip. And thankfully, SNL hasn’t ruined it by trying to put together a sequel.
1. Buffy Finale - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVuadlImkPc&feature=related
An epic conclusion (at least in the mind of most true fans) to a groundbreaking show that will probably be woefully underappreciated by this group of posters. I apologize for the terrible rescoring of the scene to a Linkin Park song, but this topic doesn’t really lend itself to easily accessible online clips.
This list wasn’t as difficult to put together as I first thought it would be. I was unable to find great clips for a lot of my selections, but I did get a list together. I wouldn’t be opposed to taking a break from lists featuring clips however. As far as the list making goes, I favored dramatic scenes, typically involving deaths of major characters. I’d be surprised to see a single one of these selections doubled by another list maker, as I suspect Josh chose this category to list a bunch of his favorite Arrested Development scenes. I’d also be surprised if other lists involve as many dramatic scenes as mine. I’d like to acknowledge my honorable mention, the scene of Fonzy Jumping The Shark, a television scene that spurred its own catch phrase nearly twenty years later.
-Hula Boy Clipped Out
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As it turns out, I only really watch like 5 television shows
10. Powers on powers
9. The model of a modern network tv show.
8. It's a funny hat.
7. POTUS
6. Dusty old clap trap
5. The Streets of Heaven
4. I hope he doesn't blow all his money like Michael Jackson
3. Kevin should look forward to this in probbaly about 12 years.
2. Who wants to hear this stuff from their parents, eh?
1. Biblical quotes
I know I went a little heavy on the West Wing, but I think the writing is amazing, and the first four seasons were some of the best moments in television history in my opinion. There were a few toss ups here as far as ordering overall. Runners up inlcude the Drink Your Milkshake SNL sketch, the Cowbell sketch and the Kid Nation clip where Jared and Alex are dragging those bones back to the town. One of my top 5 would have been the scene from the West Wing where Josh and Toby have a time zone issue, but I could not find it.
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9. The model of a modern network tv show.
8. It's a funny hat.
7. POTUS
6. Dusty old clap trap
5. The Streets of Heaven
4. I hope he doesn't blow all his money like Michael Jackson
3. Kevin should look forward to this in probbaly about 12 years.
2. Who wants to hear this stuff from their parents, eh?
1. Biblical quotes
I know I went a little heavy on the West Wing, but I think the writing is amazing, and the first four seasons were some of the best moments in television history in my opinion. There were a few toss ups here as far as ordering overall. Runners up inlcude the Drink Your Milkshake SNL sketch, the Cowbell sketch and the Kid Nation clip where Jared and Alex are dragging those bones back to the town. One of my top 5 would have been the scene from the West Wing where Josh and Toby have a time zone issue, but I could not find it.
Read more!
Monday, August 4, 2008
This Week
This week's topic will be "Top 10 Scenes from Television." However, in addition to your commentary, you must embed the scene in the post. If you can't find the specific scene, you can include the whole episode with a time stamp for when your scene is.
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Sunday, August 3, 2008
Dan's Internetorium Emporium
10) V8 Tomato Juice Dog: I don't know why I like this video so much, but I do. I crack up every time that dog's paw awkwardly bonks its owner on the head.
9) Stanford v. Cal "The Play:" Classic sports clip, here we get to see it in slow motion, set to music, and the awesome mustache of an 80's sports reporter.
8) Sneezing Panda: Kevin already did this one, but I love it too. My favorite bit is when the panda cautiously returns to eating.
7) Alex Trebek Drunk: Here we get to see the real Alex Trebek, and ironically, it is a sobering sight. My childhood hero is shown for who he really is: either a drunk or an asshole.
6) Ostrich Racing Gone Wild: As awesome as it sounds.
5) Star Wars According to a 3-Year Old: One day I hope to have a video of my child explaining Star Wars to the internet. Of course he/she will be better versed in the expanded universe than this kid.
4) Adam's Apartment: Camson took a tour of his brother's apartment and took this video. The place looks like a serial killer's house. The only problem is that it is hard to convey the smell of the place through the internet.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7947538071774510357&hl=en
3) Joker Magic Trick Scene: WARNING SPOILERS!!!
2) Best Scenes from the Wicker Man: I love me some Nicolas Cage.
1) The best video ever, sorry the sound quality isn't very good.
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9) Stanford v. Cal "The Play:" Classic sports clip, here we get to see it in slow motion, set to music, and the awesome mustache of an 80's sports reporter.
8) Sneezing Panda: Kevin already did this one, but I love it too. My favorite bit is when the panda cautiously returns to eating.
7) Alex Trebek Drunk: Here we get to see the real Alex Trebek, and ironically, it is a sobering sight. My childhood hero is shown for who he really is: either a drunk or an asshole.
6) Ostrich Racing Gone Wild: As awesome as it sounds.
5) Star Wars According to a 3-Year Old: One day I hope to have a video of my child explaining Star Wars to the internet. Of course he/she will be better versed in the expanded universe than this kid.
4) Adam's Apartment: Camson took a tour of his brother's apartment and took this video. The place looks like a serial killer's house. The only problem is that it is hard to convey the smell of the place through the internet.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7947538071774510357&hl=en
3) Joker Magic Trick Scene: WARNING SPOILERS!!!
2) Best Scenes from the Wicker Man: I love me some Nicolas Cage.
1) The best video ever, sorry the sound quality isn't very good.
Read more!
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