The Worst
5. Tattoine
One of the things I hate the most is the sun. Another constant bother in my life is sand. That stuff gets everywhere and takes weeks to clean off thoroughly. So essentially, for me, one of the least enjoyable climates would be the dessert. Tattoine? Yeah. It's a whole god damn planet of dessert. For me, Tattoine would be the vacation from hell.
4. Pittsburgh
OK, I obviously live in Pittsburgh. As somewhere to live, it's perfectly fine. But as a vacation spot? Not for me. There are a few quaint and interesting places to go and see, but the majority of those locations will garner a "meh" reaction, or in the case of Primanti Brothers, a stomach-ache. While Pittsburgh is consistently rated one of the best places to live, there is a recent you don't see it on many "best places to spend a weekend" lists. It's just too boring to go on vacation here.
3. The Future
Destruction by a giant meteor crashing into Earth. Everyone walking around in silver jump suits. Machines enslaving humans in concentration camps. Monkeys somehow evolving beyond humans and getting the upper hand, making humans their slaves. If movies and television are to be believed, these are just some of the potential horrors that await you in the future. So before you jump in your Delorean and gun it to 88, remember that depending on when you end up, the future could be the shittiest vacation ever.
2. Gotham
This fictional city in the DC universe is rife with crime. Furthermore, it is consistently, dark and dingy and filled with psychopaths. The insane asylum, which is in Gotham, is possibly the worst ever built. People constantly escape from it and cause all sorts of trouble. With Gotham's most feared and respected protector, Batman, missing, now would be a horrible time to visit Gotham. Who knows if you would make it out?
1. Small Town USA
I don't watch many horror movies. However, almost all of the horror movies I've seen take place in the same location: small town USA. Again, relying on the wisdom of movies and television, there is a strong possibility of any number of horrors awaiting us on our weekend retreat to a bed and breakfast. First of all, the bed and breakfast could be old-school haunted. Or maybe an ancient coming of age ritual for two murderous alien species could take place right in that small town, before it gets nuked. You could be cut to little pieces by beaks. The doctor in town could turn out to be some douche bag from Hollywood just there because the girl he is sleeping with won't leave. Or, you could get stuck in a time loop for years, with no idea how to escape.
Check out the Best vacation spots after the jump!
The Best
5. Childhood Home
That's right, your childhood home. If you don't live at home anymore, a short visit in the form of a vacation can be just what one needs. Great mom home-cooking combined with seeing family and friends can be a nice break from the rat race. Of course, if it's too long of a visit, you'll need a vacation from your vacation.
4.Disney World
In my younger days I visited Disney World on two separate occasions. The most recent visit was during high school. As long as you're a kid at heart, there is plenty of fun to be had!
3. London
During college I spent a semester living in Her Majesty's capital. While it is quite tricky to live there on a fixed budget with no income, I gathered that a four-seven day vacation would be amazing. The city and the surrounding towns are lovely and filled with fun and interesting places to visit.
2. Washington, DC
I've been to America's capitol several times this semester. There is only one word to describe it: epic. Walking amongst all those historic buildings only makes me think about the great leaders past, present and yet to come who have changed this world for the better. Plus, there are some really cool museums. Definitely a great place for a weekend get-away.
1. Space
That's right, the final frontier. While vacationing in space you can float around and have a jolly old time. Plus, with the right equipment you can go on all sorts of fun adventures. Definitely a good time.
Read more!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Dan's 5 Favorite/Least Favorite Vacation Spots
Similar to Brett, I have not traveled to very many places. So, I have peppered my list with a number of fictional hot (and not) spots.
Worst
5. Rekall
Rekall gives you the vacation of a lifetime by implanting false memories into your mind. This is fine in theory, unless you have already erased the memories of being an underling to an evil Martian slumlord. Then you might run into troubs.
Travel Tip: Buy a sturdy space suit.
4. Cemetery
My parents became obsessed with genealogy one summer; for some reason this meant we had to go to various cemeteries and find the long-lost gravestones of distant relatives.
Travel Tip: Avoid these guys:
3. Hoth
Hoth is one of the most inhospitable planets in the Star Wars universe. Leaving your base is likely to result in a Wampa attack or freezing to death.
Travel Tip: The only way to survive Hoth's cold nights are in the belly of a Tauntaun.
2. Mordor
Mordor could possibly be the most evil place in any fictional realm. This pockmarked land is filled with horrifying creatures, violent volcanoes, and an all-seeing eye.
Travel Tip: Find a handy guide at www.gollumtours.com
1. Parmistan
Parmistan was the insane country featured in the movie Gymkata. Parmistan forces foreign visitors to participate in the Game, a grueling endurance race in which Parmistan soldiers chase them. The Game culminates in a town where insane people roam around and stab each other with pitchforks. Visitors are granted one wish if they survive. I’d say it’s worth it.
Travel Tip: Steer clear of Parmistan.
Luckily, crazy town has a pommel horse in its town square!
Best
5. Seahaven
Visit the set of the most famous reality show in history. The idyllic town made famous in The Truman Show sits inside a gigantic dome in California. You can choose the current time and weather, and purchase the town’s many sponsored consumer products. Why, you may even find yourself on television!
Travel Tip: Christof is still mad about the whole Truman leaving thing, so don’t mention it to him.
4. Gotham City
Many people would probably put this on their worst vacation spot list, not me. Sure, you might be killed, but you also have a good chance of becoming a superhero or villain during your stay. Gotham probably has the highest hero/villain per person ratio of any comic book city: Batman, Nightwing, Batgirl, Azrael, Huntress, the Question, Batwoman, about six Robins, and those are just the good guys.
Travel Tip: Buy your cape and cowl before traveling to Gotham City
3. Toontown
I’m a big fan of cartoons, especially the old Merry Melodies and Silly Symphonies. Traveling to Toontown would certainly be an interesting experience. However, it is probably best to keep the visit short since I’m not sure how long anyone could put up with all the zaniness, not to mention the falling safes, for an extended period of time.
Travel Tip: Don’t touch the Goofy.
2. Space
Space is pretty fucking sweet.
Travel Tip: In space, no one can hear you scream, so make sure people know where you are at all times.
In case you didn't know what it looked like
1. 25 miles from the Century III Mall
Karyn and I once took a trip to Fallingwater and stayed at a place that ended up being only 25 miles from the beloved Century III Mall. It was quite the getaway.
Travel Tip: Avoid Hoss’ Steakhouse.
Read more!
Worst
5. Rekall
Rekall gives you the vacation of a lifetime by implanting false memories into your mind. This is fine in theory, unless you have already erased the memories of being an underling to an evil Martian slumlord. Then you might run into troubs.
Travel Tip: Buy a sturdy space suit.
4. Cemetery
My parents became obsessed with genealogy one summer; for some reason this meant we had to go to various cemeteries and find the long-lost gravestones of distant relatives.
Travel Tip: Avoid these guys:
3. Hoth
Hoth is one of the most inhospitable planets in the Star Wars universe. Leaving your base is likely to result in a Wampa attack or freezing to death.
Travel Tip: The only way to survive Hoth's cold nights are in the belly of a Tauntaun.
2. Mordor
Mordor could possibly be the most evil place in any fictional realm. This pockmarked land is filled with horrifying creatures, violent volcanoes, and an all-seeing eye.
Travel Tip: Find a handy guide at www.gollumtours.com
1. Parmistan
Parmistan was the insane country featured in the movie Gymkata. Parmistan forces foreign visitors to participate in the Game, a grueling endurance race in which Parmistan soldiers chase them. The Game culminates in a town where insane people roam around and stab each other with pitchforks. Visitors are granted one wish if they survive. I’d say it’s worth it.
Travel Tip: Steer clear of Parmistan.
Luckily, crazy town has a pommel horse in its town square!
Best
5. Seahaven
Visit the set of the most famous reality show in history. The idyllic town made famous in The Truman Show sits inside a gigantic dome in California. You can choose the current time and weather, and purchase the town’s many sponsored consumer products. Why, you may even find yourself on television!
Travel Tip: Christof is still mad about the whole Truman leaving thing, so don’t mention it to him.
4. Gotham City
Many people would probably put this on their worst vacation spot list, not me. Sure, you might be killed, but you also have a good chance of becoming a superhero or villain during your stay. Gotham probably has the highest hero/villain per person ratio of any comic book city: Batman, Nightwing, Batgirl, Azrael, Huntress, the Question, Batwoman, about six Robins, and those are just the good guys.
Travel Tip: Buy your cape and cowl before traveling to Gotham City
3. Toontown
I’m a big fan of cartoons, especially the old Merry Melodies and Silly Symphonies. Traveling to Toontown would certainly be an interesting experience. However, it is probably best to keep the visit short since I’m not sure how long anyone could put up with all the zaniness, not to mention the falling safes, for an extended period of time.
Travel Tip: Don’t touch the Goofy.
2. Space
Space is pretty fucking sweet.
Travel Tip: In space, no one can hear you scream, so make sure people know where you are at all times.
In case you didn't know what it looked like
1. 25 miles from the Century III Mall
Karyn and I once took a trip to Fallingwater and stayed at a place that ended up being only 25 miles from the beloved Century III Mall. It was quite the getaway.
Travel Tip: Avoid Hoss’ Steakhouse.
Read more!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Hula Boy's Best/Worst Vacation Spots
I'm not sure I really get this category, maybe there is an excitement that I'm unaware of, but here is my stab at it. I've only been on three different vacations in my life, and two were really not exciting enough to warrant a spot on this list, so I did some guessing to put this together...
Best Five Vacation Spots
5. New York City
New York City is the only American city better than the one I currently live in. So, if I was to travel to a city, there would be no place more happening than here. I'd choose this spot in the winter time, as I feel like the city takes on a unique quality during the winter.
4. Hollywood
I've never been to Hollywood, but I envision it as quite the hangout spot. This is solely based on my knowledge of the city through Entourage however. Who wouldn't want to take a tour of the homes of famous people though. There is something exciting about semi-stalking celebrities.
3. Sin City, Nevada
Las Vegas is another city that I haven't visited, but I bet would be pretty cool based on the different movies and television shows I have seen in the area. I mean the original CSI gives it such a great reputation, who wouldn't want to visit?
2. Disney World
Has any kid not enjoyed their requisite trip to Disney World/Disney Land? I feel like this is a mandatory experience growing up, and one that every child should experience.
1. Wall, England
Stardust is an awesome movie. While Ipswitch seems like a boring, typical town, Wall exhibits an excitement beyond this world. As great as Disney World is, Wall is better. It's like the Disney World for adults.
Five Worst Vacation Spots
5. The Midwest
I went to St. Louis once. I heard it is one of the more exciting places to be in the Midwest. It sucked. I would never recommend anyone visit anywhere else in the Midwest. I feel like the United States should attempt to sell the Midwest (minus Chicago) to some other country (maybe Canada). How much do you think we could make?
4. Canada
As bad as the Midwest sucks, I envision Canada being even worse. Everyone there has a round head that opens right down the middle. Plus they speak really funny. And we blame them a lot, despite the fact they are really just the United States lite.
3. Antarctica
I have no interest in going somewhere where there is very little human life and it is constantly below freezing. I'll get my share of Polar Bears at the local zoo.
2. A Third World Country
I have no interest in going to a third world country in my spare time.
1. Hell
I've heard it sucks.
Read more!
Best Five Vacation Spots
5. New York City
New York City is the only American city better than the one I currently live in. So, if I was to travel to a city, there would be no place more happening than here. I'd choose this spot in the winter time, as I feel like the city takes on a unique quality during the winter.
4. Hollywood
I've never been to Hollywood, but I envision it as quite the hangout spot. This is solely based on my knowledge of the city through Entourage however. Who wouldn't want to take a tour of the homes of famous people though. There is something exciting about semi-stalking celebrities.
3. Sin City, Nevada
Las Vegas is another city that I haven't visited, but I bet would be pretty cool based on the different movies and television shows I have seen in the area. I mean the original CSI gives it such a great reputation, who wouldn't want to visit?
2. Disney World
Has any kid not enjoyed their requisite trip to Disney World/Disney Land? I feel like this is a mandatory experience growing up, and one that every child should experience.
1. Wall, England
Stardust is an awesome movie. While Ipswitch seems like a boring, typical town, Wall exhibits an excitement beyond this world. As great as Disney World is, Wall is better. It's like the Disney World for adults.
Five Worst Vacation Spots
5. The Midwest
I went to St. Louis once. I heard it is one of the more exciting places to be in the Midwest. It sucked. I would never recommend anyone visit anywhere else in the Midwest. I feel like the United States should attempt to sell the Midwest (minus Chicago) to some other country (maybe Canada). How much do you think we could make?
4. Canada
As bad as the Midwest sucks, I envision Canada being even worse. Everyone there has a round head that opens right down the middle. Plus they speak really funny. And we blame them a lot, despite the fact they are really just the United States lite.
3. Antarctica
I have no interest in going somewhere where there is very little human life and it is constantly below freezing. I'll get my share of Polar Bears at the local zoo.
2. A Third World Country
I have no interest in going to a third world country in my spare time.
1. Hell
I've heard it sucks.
Read more!
This Week
This week's topic is the 5 Best/5 Worst places to take a vacation. Real or fictional of course.
Read more!
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